more breast feeding…

Is there a theme to these posts???

Last night, I tried feeding Sophia on both breasts for about a half hour each, followed with a bottle of breast milk, except for one feed when I was just too tired to wait to heat up the water for breast milk & I did formula instead.  We still had difficulty latching on, but each attempt was getting better a bit.  She just can’t open her little mouth wide enough, and when she does open it wide enough, isn’t too sure what to do about all that breast in there!

She’s getting much better at sucking on the bottle of food.  Still a bit slow, but she’s getting her food.  Now we are certain of it.

I’m doing better today, becoming more resigned to the fact that breast feeding might not work for us.  Don’t get me wrong, we’re going o keep at it & I’ll keep pumping it out for her to have in a bottle.  I can’t realistically pump long-term for months around the clock, but I’m willing to do it as long as  I can so she gets all the good benefits of it. And maybe in a bit, when  she’s a little bigger (and so is her mouth), we can try latching on again.

It’s hard to let go or even admit out loud that this idealized view you had is not going to work.  Like breast feeding.  Or natural child birth (I will post about her birth – promise.  The short version – 40 hours labor, pitocin to go from 5 to 9 cm, then epidural (somehow suppose to help???), followed by emergency cesarean).

Anyway, I feel bad for ever questioning moms who were bottle feeding about their choices.  When your baby is not getting enough food, all bets are off.  And breast feeding is very tough.  I’d say it’s harder than labor, simply because you’re trying to feed this lovely baby (who is SO hungry) from your body, the way we’ve all been told is completely natural.  And it is natural, but damn! –  it’s difficult if  there are issues…and latching is the biggest issue, aside from waiting for the milk to come in.

So today, we’re giving breast feeding & bottle supplementing a go…tomorrow is another visit to the drop in lactation center at the hospital.  Hopefully they can show me how to get Sophia to open really wide…and back for a weigh in on Friday.  We shall see…

********

And just to show that not all is doom & gloom, here’s Sophia in the moby wrap:

moby wrap (1)

close up in wrap (1)

We’ve gone for a walk around the neighborhood the last two nights – and it has been wonderful to get out as a family & see people!

She really is a wonderful little girl; I just want to see her gain some weight & be healthy!

food is great!

Full little tummy!

Advertisements

One thought on “more breast feeding…

  1. Hey- I’ve been MIA for the past few days with my interview and work, so I just got on here and saw the breast feeding posts. So sorry there have been so many difficulties! All I can say is hang in there and do what works best for you. Sophia is going to know you love her and want what’s best for her whether or not you breast feed, pump, or just use formula. I wasn’t breast fed, and I turned out just fine! (Or so I think :)) Hang in there! Just try to remember it will all pass.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s